Being Mental Health Awareness Month, it is time to tell my story. If it can help even just one person, then it will be worth it.
My therapy is hiking and traveling to obscure destinations. It’s insanely addictive and helped me in more ways than I can put into words.
For 2 decades, I thought I enjoyed the grind and found purpose in working 2 careers that I genuinely loved. But I would also count down the days until vaca. It took me over 20 years to finally realize that my mindset has been so backwards for too long. My planned over the top excursions were to escape and recenter, but they should have been a reward for all the hard work.
I have always over scheduled, overworked, over worried, over thought and pretty much over did everything in my life. Not that it is all bad, but I am an extremist. And I’m not exactly sure why I have this innate need or pressure of perfectionism but it is very hard to “just be normal”.
I am a highly curious person and if I’m not learning or growing, then I start getting depressed. And it can be soul sucking and go downhill quickly. I constantly struggle with the safety in routine and structure, while craving freedom and flexibility. It is hard to find that balance that works for me.
Extreme travel is my passion and it has consumed my thoughts over the past decade. I feel my heart come alive when even just researching new places of interest and can hardly contain my excitement upon touching down in a new destination. It is extremely important for me to dive full force into an excursion, while also allowing time to just be present. I’m equally as happy rappelling off the side of a cliff as I am sitting on a dock watching the sunset. But one thing is for sure, I inevitably come back to the real world fired up, stronger and reenergized.
So this is very heavy to unpack, but for the first time out loud I’m sharing that I’ve had some very dark thoughts and struggled to right my thoughts on numerous occasions.
I hid my emotions deep inside and had retreated more each year. I craved my alone time. While I loved hanging out with my friends, I found more joy in my own quiet moments. I always thought “am I alone I feeling this way? Damn, I’m so weak.”
So while on the outside, I have an amazing life, incredible “ride or dies” and family, experienced more than most, I still have to consciously calm those demons that plaque my dreams. It’s scary at times but I also now know that I have a higher purpose to help others go for their biggest aspirations and reap the benefits of adventure travel. And I can now identify the triggers, which is absolutely critical in avoiding the lowest of lows.
I am proof that mental health can affect anyone, so please don’t judge or blow it off as someone just wanting attention. It is real. Not everyone can right their own path, so be more compassionate. Opening up is so very hard, especially if you don’t know if someone will use it against you in the future. Just listen. Not to reply but to really connect and help.
So to end on a positive note….. I am most centered while conquering a mountain peak or trekking to a waterfall deep in the jungle. So I know there will always be a new destination waiting for me to explore, if I really need it!
I saw a quote recently that resonated deeper than any to date…. “People who have overcome darkness in their life typically have a fire inside them that is almost impossible to extinguish”. W. O. W. 🎯
I’m truly happier than I’ve ever been, eliminated all unnecessary drama, enjoy my own company, find joy in the small things & genuinely at peace.
My bucket list has literally saved my life and I am so very blessed to have found my passion!!! #destigmatize #selfawareness #bekind #therapy
FearlessAdventures 